With the rising support, and the demand on marriage equality, and with the fight for equal rights and respect for all members of the LGBTIQ community – so too comes the hatred and smears from the outdated few living under their rock with only a bible and a burning hatred in their hearts as company.

With the outpouring of positivity and rainbows that comes with the US and all of its 50 states uniting as one, and Australia finally becoming a nation that seems to ‘get it’ – out come the cretin’s, with no other intention than to turn a smile into a scowl, and pride back into pain.

“If marriage equality becomes legal, I’m getting a divorce”

“If equal rights are approved, I’ll light myself on fire”

“If a man and a man, or a woman and a woman can get married – who will stop someone fucking a dolphin?”

It seems like newspaper headlines taken straight from a hit of acid. But unfortunately no – these are people in our world, people in our country, and people in our community who seem to hate something so much that it consumes every fibre of their being.

To them, it’s a way of life – to me, to us, it’s something we’re really not yet able to get our heads around.

To fight so much against positivity. To have your life ambition to take happiness away from someone you know, or someone you don’t. To find success in the misery of others….I’m just not understanding it.

If there could be any comparison to this vulgar act in my own life, it could only be this.

I’m Michael Winn – and I hate Jaffas.

Those bloody choc-orange flavoured balls that could quite possibly be the worst tasting ‘treat’ ever created.

They taste terrible.

Throughout my childhood they seemed to find ways to sneak into every lolly-bag I ever received, and every time they’d trick me into thinking they were an M&M.

I’d pick them up, admire what I thought was a genetically superior peanut M&M and shove it in whole. Then the truth would hit me, and dear god the agony! The citrus and dairy blend would fill my mouth and make me sick to my core.

Truly terrible, terrible things.


Other than having to think quite hard to find one food in this world that I actually don’t enjoy eating, Jaffas and I seem to have a relationship where we choose to not so much hate each other, rather we rarely think of each other, we just keep out of the other ones life.

This however seems to be too hard a task for your average homophobe. No, these little fellas get off over a good tweet, a lengthy comment, and a bloody good rant and actually seek out an avenue to do so.

Every article about marriage equality, every tweet about the Pride Cup, every picture of Caitlyn Jenner – there they are. Same people – same word vomit: “God…Hell…Disgusting…Wrong…Who Cares..Sex with a Dog”, it’s a cycle that gives them meaning in their day, and a headache in everyone else’s. Their hatred is their fuel to make themselves feel alive.

But back to Jaffas for a sec.

So I guess I strongly disapprove in the existence of a Jaffa…little orange shits.

But in no way does this chocolate ball take a prime seat in my mind on a daily basis.

Not once in my life have I written to Allens threatening to boycott their brand if they continue to manufacture these little orange beasts.

Not once in my life have I discarded an entire lolly-bag simply because it contained a Jaffa.

Like I said, we have an unspoken agreement. I can admire that their colour is lovely, but it’s simply not for me. I’d be happy to pass it off to someone who enjoys eating it, and would think no less of someone who does. It’s about embracing difference, and realising what is worth fretting about, and what really matters in this world.

But enough about Jaffas and hatred. This is about bringing some more positivity into a progressive and thriving space.

Today I present to you:

6 Reasons Why It’s Pretty Fucking Great To Be Gay.

Reason Number One:

In a same-sex relationship there are many added bonuses that the traditional heterosexual simply fail to hold themselves. In a male-male relationship, leaving the toilet seat up is an act of mateship, and a favour that is truly appreciated by your significant other. Too often in life we waste precious moments lifting up the seat on a toilet whilst busting to pee – but not with two men in the house, there’s also been numerous conversations about installing a urinal.

In these relationships a couple’s wardrobe can be shared freely. What’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is mine. Shirts, jumpers and shoes can be gifted to one another day-to-day, without the need for the swap to only occur in the event of a dress-up party.

Reason Number Two:

In this world, anyone who identifies as gay or lesbian can relate to both males and females in terms of interests, what they find appealing in a partner, and who they like to sleep with. As a result of this crossover, as a gay man, I am invited to baby-showers, Ladies Lunches at footy clubs, as well as ‘boys nights’ with topless waitresses and strippers. Whilst some of these events may seem like torturous moments in any person’s life, or some that aren’t exactly on top of your to-do list (there’s not much I enjoy about paying a woman to serve me a beer with nothing on), the freedom to cross the norms of gender lines is something I have grown to love and enjoy about who I am, and I appreciate that women can drink and be just as gross as men – and it’s a lot of fun.

Reason Number Three:

There’s no pressure to fit a stereotype. Being gay also comes with the freedom of not having to fit the mould of gender norms. A gay man can rough it on the footy field, then head straight to Mardi Gras wearing little more than glitter and dance to a Gaga song. Unfortunately, it seems straight males have the biggest pressure to conform these days with the fear of being called ‘gay’ for standing apart from the rules (whoever wrote those) of what it is to be a heterosexual male. The freedom that comes with being a member of the LGBT community means that you’ve already done enough conforming, and when you’re ready, you are free to be whoever you want to be.

Reason Number Four:

There is a constant external fascination with your life. There is something still new and exciting to many people about a same-sex attracted person and their relationships, how they began and how they operate. Just being you is enough of a conversation starter, and sets you well apart from the bores at a party. Not so much in an animal in a cage way, but more like a new world that people are enthralled with, and want to learn more about. It is something that can be embraced and enjoyed. There’s something about a struggle with identity in your younger years which makes you that much stronger from an outsiders eyes – and something that should be celebrated, because we’re bloody tough. Like I’m always telling my partner, I make him interesting.

Reason Number Five:

The symbol for who you are is a rainbow. The most well-known symbol for the LGBTIQ community is a rainbow – our diversity is at our core – and everyone fits under it and is celebrated for the person they are in their heart. We are all a community, and our community is celebrated under a banner of happiness, joy and freedom.

Reason Number Six:

And what inspires me most in the world to wake up, accept and celebrate who I am, and the community I find myself belonging to, is that all the good guys in this life are fighting for us, and alongside us, every single day. As the world progresses to a brighter, more inclusive future, we have members of parliament presenting bills to dispose of ancient and archaic ‘rules’ that promote inequality in our land. We have sports men and women standing up and saying enough is enough of homophobic taunts being common place on the field in an attempt to bring down the opposition. We have days and events celebrating the way we were born. We have Facebook vomiting rainbows to show us that they want to be on the right side of history. There are supporters, there are allies, there are people everywhere around you; gay, straight, young, old, friends, strangers, all fighting for you and me, all because we deserve happiness, we deserve freedom, we deserve rights that every human being is owed.

That’s the kind of world I’m proud to be a part of. Homophobes and Jaffas can get out of the party mix.

#LoveWins, and always will.

No Hate