After a lifetime of aversion, it’s time to embrace the introversion.

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To the extroverts of the world,

You loud, look-at-me types.

You with your flashy personas, and your never-ending ability to speak up and be heard on every. single. topic.

You who have weaseled your way to the top of our society’s food chain through sheer volume and force of will.

It’s time to pipe down.

The introverts are speaking,

And we have something to say.

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For too long us Introverts have been dismissed,

Derided.

Unnerving the world with our quiet, considered, deliberate personas.

But in a world that is growing louder and louder,

Drowned out by people speaking more and more,

All with increasingly less to say,

It seems that the Age of the Introvert is needed now more than ever.

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Ever since I was young I was told that I needed to speak up.

From primary school, my school reports all said the same thing;

‘Michael is a quiet and conscientious student…who would benefit from speaking up more’.

It was modelled to me from the earliest age – that I needed to get out of my head, get into the group, and get heard.

That quiet or silence meant that I didn’t understand things,

That I was lost,

That I was stuck at the starting line while the others streaked ahead.

In the race to being the loudest person in the room.

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Being an introvert has kept me quiet most of my life.

Naturally.

People have called me shy, they’ve called me awkward, they’ve called me boring –

All because whether I’m at a party, in school, or in an office,

My natural, most comfortable state is one of sitting back and observing,

Taking it all in,

A quiet enjoyment,

Without much desire to be the one who is the centre of attention.

In life I am the one who can be alone, in silence, getting down to it.

It can make people uncomfortable,

And for years it was something I hated about myself.

People have given up on me, been frustrated with me, or viewed me as something I’m not,

Purely because they found the need to fill-in the gaps that I’ve left in my silence.

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It was through learning about Introversion as part of a personality test I took through work, that I realised that this part of me wasn’t as bad a thing as it had always been made out to be.

I’d always been told in overly simplified terms that an Introvert was a shy person.

Someone who wanted to speak, but couldn’t.

Someone stuck.

But learning about Introversion opened up a whole new world to realising who I was, what I could do well, and what I could offer the world.

Introversion simply meant that I was a person who took problems inwards to solve them, rather than relying on working through them with other people – externally.

That listening, observing, and thinking were an asset of mine that came from being introverted,

And that Introverts can be just as successful leaders as Extroverts.

Through that test, and reading the results, I realised that Introversion was just another way of doing things.

A way of being.

Not a life sentence of someone who will never be enough.

Introverts are people who get their energy from spending time alone

– Dr. Jennifer Kahnweiler

Introverts take the time to work through problems themselves, to seek solutions without having to make it a problem for someone else to solve.

And through learning that it’s who I am, that it is actually a skill that can be utilised in every way of the everyday, and that it’s not something that can be changed about me with a simple snap of my fingers –

I decided it’s not something I’m in a rush to change, now, either.

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One thing that I’ve learned is that because of my introversion, I can revel within myself, and be completely content and comfortable with my own company,

That my greatest collaborator is myself,

And that most times, if I sit in a thought or feeling for long enough,

I can dig my way out – or work my own way through it,

Alone.

That the voice (…voices…) in my head can give me enough.

Enough conversation.

Enough back and forth.

Enough to ponder.

And enough entertainment,

That I don’t need to look for that outwardly.

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It’s probably why I came across writing, and why it felt so right to me –

Why it became my outlet. My relief. My home. My freedom. My true voice.

Because without a natural, God-given ability to speak up and out,

Nor much of a desire to do so,

I got my words out on my own terms – in my own way –  and I was still always heard.

I learned that a ‘voice’ can come in a range of ways I never knew about before.

Throughout my education, and into my career, I found my path doing it my own way.

It was only later that I realised that it was because of my introversion that I was able to carve out that road for myself.

Sure, I wouldn’t ever be the guy putting his hand up to run a seminar or leading a group chant –

But if I ended up finishing the job anyway, does it matter how I got it done?

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The road here wasn’t an easy one.

For any of us Introverts.

Because as we know, history is written by the winners,

And in this case, history was written by the extroverts.

Written by the exuberant, over-the-top personalities who penned the book on ‘The Way Of Doing Things’.

A tale that dictated that to get things done, you needed to be the loudest,

That speaking over your opponents gave you the victory,

That a winner was the one who ended up in the spotlight.

‘The Way of Doing Things’ is a tale so foreign, and so exhausting to us introverts, that it leaves us throwing our hands up – and retreating with dismay, unwilling to fight for a spot at the table.

In the battle for Top Dog, the world seemed to reward those who were all bark.

A story full of praise for the boastful, the loud, the ‘shining stars’ –

Extroverted emperors erecting huge statues of themselves,

Celebrating their own achievements,

While their introverted advisors, who shaped history behind the scenes, faded into anonymity.

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It’s time we stop equating confidence and merit only with extroversion.

Stop applauding the speaking of minds out loud at all times, irregardless of whether there is anything worthy ever being said.

Time to stop pitying those who can keep a lid on it, or labelling them as strange, or lacking.

How many people have been looked over for leadership positions in recent history, simply because they didn’t have the characteristics of some William Wallace from yesteryear?

Perhaps if we rewarded thinking before speaking, there may be more articulate, thoughtful things said,

And more thought-out, worthy progress made.

There’s nothing wrong with not being the loudest person in the room,

And, as is often the case, the loudest person in the room is actually the person with the least to say.

If you want a show pony, then hire a show pony.

But if you want a leader, one who inspires positive growth and change. You need to start looking in all corners of the talent pool.

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Contrary to popular belief, introverts aren’t people who don’t not say things.

We get them out,

It’s just not in the way you may expect,

Nor in the way that leaves a ringing in your ears.

There’s a power and a strength that can come from the slowing down of arguments, of listening, and of hearing.

Of seeking first to understand, rather than speaking first to find the ‘quick win’ that gets us nowhere.

A power that comes from growing toward the right solution, rather than racing to the first one.

Because it’s when we open ourselves up to a dialogue,

Of seeing things from a different perspective,

Of learning,

That we truly grow.

It’s when we rush to speak,

Speaking purely for the sake of having our own voice heard,

Or simply to have our own point of view reiterated,

That we limit ourselves,

And get stuck.

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Human history has shown us that having a big mouth can lead to all sorts of problems,

And the longer I spend in this world, the more I realise that more problems come from things being said too loudly, too often, or too inconsiderately – rather than words not being said at all.

Far more damage comes from speaking without thinking,

Than comes from speaking slowly; from pausing for thought, and formulating a response that encapsulates an informed point of view.

In our world of speak first, think later, apologise too late.

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Way back in 100AD, Epictetus said:

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak”,

I think he was onto something.

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It’s taken me a while to realise that not being an extrovert isn’t a character flaw.

That not being a vocal and succinct arguer in the moment doesn’t mean I don’t believe in or fight for things.

That not always having a quick quip up my sleeve, or not being first to raise my voice in an argument, didn’t equal a lack of intellect on my behalf.

That I do in fact have something to say – even if other people don’t get to hear it as frequently.

I’ll win a shower argument by myself well before I’ll win a battle-of-the-wills in a screaming match,

And while I may not give you the quickest answer to your problem,

I’ll give it to you right. In due time. First time.

Because if you want it done right, it won’t always be done quickly.

It’s time to give us Introverts a chance.

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Maybe in the past we needed the extroverts.

The ones who put themselves out there,

Who made their voices heard.

The hunter who could shout the loudest if a sabre tooth tiger was approaching,

Or who could inspire their horse-backed warriors as they galloped into battle.

But having a voice is different now,

Now that every voice has the ability to be amplified in a range of ways, through a range of vehicles.

Today, instead of voices of sheer volume, we need voices of thoughtfulness,

Of quiet power,

Of meaning,

And of healing.

And perhaps, some of those are voices that were once viewed as too small,

As too quiet

As diminutive,

As less than.

Well these squeaks are getting louder,

Finding their own way out into the world,

Enacting change and inspiring millions –

As they become the voice of the mouse that roared.

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A powerful voice shouldn’t need volume to prove it’s worth,

It doesn’t need repetition to stamp it’s authority.

Sometimes, something that proves to be the most worthy, isn’t the most obvious.

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If our goal for leaders within our society is purely for them to have the ability to speak well in public and be talented arguers,

Well, then we’ve earned the types of leaders and politicians we have today.

It’s why we’re stuck with those who consistently over-promise and under-deliver.

Who can talk the talk, but rarely back it up by walking the walk.

It’s time we gave power to those passionate about making a difference,

Regardless of the personality type.

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So here’s to the achievers;

The quiet achievers.

And everything they can do, achieve, and be,

All without uttering a single word.

I’m. Not. Shy. I’m. Thinking.

Michael Towner